Remembering what’s important

How to keep remembering what is truly important to me? I grasp the answer in my fingers and think my grip is firm and then before I know it I look and find my hand empty and days and months have passed me by. Why is it really so hard to keep my grip on that? What really happens for it to slip through the web of my fingers, sand in the hour-glass, and my life needing to be inverted once again just to get back to where I was.

In a moment of calm, I remember to sit down, to light a candle and catch my breath and in that peace all the knowing of what’s important comes back in line with me. I breathe and smile, “of course”, my happy heart sings out. I start to write a list to capture what must be done to prioritise this knowing; and, without my noticing, the sand begins again its slippery descent.

Another week passes. The dishes are done, the fridge is full, the laundry basket empty, the dentist booked. But what happened to all that is truly important to me, was I even in the week that just rushed by?

The real question is how to be in this life, My Life. Fully. Always. Within it all, not selectively bouncing in and out, spaces of unconsciousness meaning I miss the tips of the first snow-drops pressing through the earth and instead only come to meet them when fully grown. The real questions is why all the distractions still hold so much power, seducing me into ideas of what may matter, even as I know they don’t.

How not to rush and lose myself in the doing is a very real question. But I sense the realest question of all is how not to make myself wrong all the times when I do.