Navigating the Unexpected

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The last few weeks have thrown me some pretty hefty curve balls. Things that have put my schedule, plans, and intentions right out of the ball park. Navigating the unexpected is my current reality, as unanticipated events, accidents, illnesses and obstacles fall across my path, challenging my best-laid plans.

And, whilst this does feel like a strangely testing time for me, the truth is also that however much we may want to control, plan, and regulate our lives, we are never in as much control of what unfolds as our minds would like to think.

Change, chaos and the unexpected are defining aspects of the era we now live in. They are guaranteed to be a part of our individual, organization and political landscapes.

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The Call to Transform

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In 2006 I set off with my then husband and our two children, one 3 years old, the other a 6 month-old baby, to travel around the world for a year. “Madness” is how I am sure most people referred to this plan of ours, but my name for our decision was “The Journey of Awakening”.

In intuitively naming it this, I wasn’t sure what I was seeking to awaken to, I just knew the London life we were living was not what I wanted. I felt a restlessness within me, a need for something more; and I instinctively felt that this call to adventure would serve and transform us all.

The call to transform often begins like this – with sensations of discomfort, dissatisfaction, disillusionment that may be difficult to clearly articulate. The shoes that once fitted so well may start to feel tight. The life we crafted, or the career we created, the relationship we once craved, the location and home we chose, may no longer feel so good.

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How are you with No?

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How are you with No?

Last week’s blog-post was about asking for help. And, if we are to develop true skill in asking for help we need to grow our capacity to handle No – both the no inside ourselves and the no we may meet in another.

Many of us find it excruciatingly difficult to feel or express our own No’s. We were never taught the importance of our own boundaries or shown by others a respect and value for our No’s. And so we develop our lives and relationships, with an absence of No’s, often mistakenly thinking we will be more liked or wanted if we do that.

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On Asking for Help

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A friend called me today, in tears and needing help. On hearing how upset she was, I felt grateful that I had seen her in-coming call and put my busy day aside to answer the phone. I am not sure how useful I was to her; but what I hope she gained from our call was a validation that asking for help is never wrong.

Few of us are practiced in asking for help. Most of us have learned to muscle through, work it out and do it all alone. Perhaps we were taught that asking for help is a weakness, or a sign of failure. Or perhaps we feared all too young that if we asked for help no-one would be there to answer.

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